A LIVING HISTORY

GLOBAL PATTERNS OF RACISM

DECEMBER 18, 2000

It isn't even two years since I was going through a terrible situation. But I am lucky I am still alive, and I am here writing about it now. Yes, two years ago, as some of you probably have seen the scenes on TV, I was in Kosova, in the middle of nowhere. Something that few could imagine was happening in the middle of Europe, and at the end of 20th century.

But I have jumped ahead. It will be helpful if I tell some history that you may understand better how I came to be a student at Raritan Valley Community College.

As a child I remember listening to conversations between my dad and my uncle. Very often they used 'the demonstrations' as a time marker, saying, 'that was before the demonstrations,' or 'after the demonstrations.' As one of the writers about Kosova, Julie Mertus writes, "The extreme youth of those arrested after the demonstrations had a tremendous impact on Kosova Albanians, shaping the future of not only the arrested but also their relatives and friends, who would forever mark time in relation to the 1981 demonstrations" (43). I wondered then, "What had happened in that year in Kosova? What are the demonstrations?"

1981 was a turning point, not only for Kosova. Europe was separated into two powers or systems. Germany was separated into two countries. Berlin was separated in two. And Albanians were a nation separated in many countries. It seemed like the cold war between the two powers, NATO and Warsaw, wasn't going to end. Communism wasn't going to vanish.

At this time the Yugoslavia of Tito was treated differently than other Eastern European communist countries. Western countries viewed Yugoslavia, with its Socialist system, as more liberal. The isolated people of Eastern communist countries saw Yugoslavia as a dream. It is true; Yugoslavia had more individual freedoms: freedom of movement, freedom of markets. Because of this positive image, Yugoslavia was able to get many loans from Western countries. But, within the country there was strife between the Serbian, Croatian, Albanian, and Slovenian peoples which exploded in the 1990's. "Long before the 1981 student demonstrations, political life in Yugoslavia was characterized by national tensions, regional economic disparities, and ideological and political differences between republics." There was an open oppression by the Serbs against non-Slavic people. "The 1981 demonstrations were not the beginning of the problem, but rather the start of serious examination of the shortcomings of these reforms" (Mertus 46).

Until 1981, Kosova was an unknown in the West; Sevdie Ahmeti an academic turned activist said, "Only after 1981 did the world find out that Albanians existed in Kosova" (Mertus 46). Separated unfairly from the other Albanian territories in 1912, Kosova, for about a century, lived in genocide. The national oppression was controlled stagnancy by the Serbo-Slavic regime. Thousands of Albanians were forced to leave Kosova during the years 1912-13, 1919-39, and 1956-65. "The Serbian communist authorities also introduced the power policy of forced migration. As a result, between 1953 and 1966, some 230,000 Albanians left Yugoslavia" (Pipa, Repishti 188).

There were no national and administrative rights for Kosova until 1965. During the period between 1966-68 it seemed like Kosova began to breathe more freely. Some new schools and colleges were opened teaching in the Albanian language. Some cultural institutions were founded such as The Institute of History, Institute of Albanology, National University Library, and Radio-Television. In the field of economics, the years 1970-1980 Kosova progressed. There were advancements and many unemployed Albanians were permitted to find work in Western countries. These, indeed, were improvements compared to the past. But, Kosova still was a colony of Serbia.

Kosova's economic investments were primarily in natural resources, like mining. The natural resources of Kosova were the foundation or core of the products made and used by Yugoslavia, but Kosova gained no benefit from this use. "It was widely understood that the main objects of these funds were primary industries whose products (metals, chemicals, and electricity) were then supplied at artificially low prices to processing industries elsewhere in Yugoslavia" (Malcolm 337).

Constitutionally, Kosova had the same rights as all of Yugoslavia. In actuality there was political segregation and oppression. "The first attacks of Serbia that took the character of segregation and apartheid were provoked on the shops of Albanians and individuals in Serbia in 1981. In Pozarevac, in Serbia, an Albanian child was taken out his eyes by civilian Serbs" (Expulsions of...).

In March of 1981, the year of my birth, the demonstrations began in Kosova. It began with student demonstrations but soon national demonstrations followed. In these peaceful demonstrations Albanians asked that Kosova must have equal rights with other parts of Yugoslavia. The New York Times on March 29, 1981, reported "Students sources said Albanian slogans and demands that Kosova be given the status of a republic had figured in the protest, which started with complaints about food, and living conditions in the residence halls." The people of Kosova demanded that the removal of Kosova's natural resources had to stop. There were also other slogans as "Who does Trepça work for?" etc. Albanians wanted to govern their own progress, culture and economy.

By April 4, 1981, "soldiers and policemen armed with machine guns were reported in control of the streets in the capital and nearby towns. Helicopters were on patrol" (New York Times). According to official sources during the protests of April 20, "there were at least 9 people dead and 59 seriously injured." But Serbia tried to keep these facts hidden from the world "...journalists were barred from visiting the area on their own" (New York Times).

The Yugoslav regime, reputed throughout the world as the most liberal and democratic, showed its true face at this point in time. The regime used the police and army to brutally oppress the protests of the Albanian people. Hundreds of demonstrators were killed. On a recent interview I did with my uncle Hysni, he described one of the scenes he saw during the protest. "When a seven year old child climbed up onto the Yugoslav Army tank and chanted 'Kosova Republikë,' a Serbian policeman saw him and shot him dead." Hundreds of other protesters were beaten and imprisoned. Albanians were fired from their jobs. "Dismissals of Albanians in every walk of life throughout 1981 and 1982" (Pipa, Repishti 185). "In 1981, Serbia isolated Albanian intellectuals and kept them in prison for several months" (Expulsions of...)." From July 1 to September 9, 1981, 226 students and workers, most of whom were under the age of twenty-five, were tried, convicted and sentenced to up to fifteen years in prison" (Mertus 43).

The 1981 student protest had such a profound impact on the Yugoslav Communist regime at that time that silencing the key Albanian activists in these protests saw the Serbian regime seeking relentless reprisals. Common Albanians supported murdered and imprisoned protesters seeing them as martyrs--as their guide to freedom. Unavoidably, all of this gave Kosova's Albanians no choice but to revolt against the oppression.

After the demonstrations "Serbia began to apply open segregation, seeking only clean institutions consisting of Serbian workers alone, such as schools, cinemas, theaters, cafés, hotels, even kindergartens" (Expulsions of...). On July 23, 1981, the New York Times reported that "Three ethnic Albanians were sentenced to jail terms ranging from six to eight years today for antistate activities in the first of series of trials stemming from Albanian demonstrations."

Serbs pursued activists in other countries as far away as Germany. In January 17, 1982, "The leaders in exile of the Movement for a National Liberation of Kosova (MNLK) Jusuf and Bardhosh Gervalla, and the leader of The Group of Marxist Leninists of Kosova (GMLK), Kadri Zeka were shot in Germany in an incident that has been attributed to Yugoslav hit men." And in January of 1984 "The founder of Movement for an Albanian Republic in Yugoslavia (LRSHJ), Nuhi Berisha was shot by the police in Prishtina" (Mertus 35). The police of Kosova and Serbia had worked out files for 600,000 Albanians; it means that every third Albanian was called to the police.

Further on, both in Yugoslav regions of the Albanians and in Kosova approximately 100,000 Albanians were dismissed from work until 1989. This action created ideological segregation that limited Kosova's national and human rights. Thus, the Yugoslav regime, so favored by the West, was finally unmasked. The world finally began to see that no matter how moderate a Communist system appeared, it exercised oppressive power over people.

What the hardships suffered by the Albanians showed was that the Communist system didn't want the world to know about the revolts. According to my uncle Selami "Kosova shook the stability of the foundation of the Yugoslav government. It showed that the Communist castle was not untouchable." As it is known, after the events of 1981, in Central and Eastern Europe there were many workers' movements against Communism. For many years the Solidarnost of Poland would test and shake the Communist system.

Excerpts of the 1991 report on human rights issued by the United States Department of State states, "...In Kosova, Serbian authorities intensified repressive measures against the majority Albanian population, eliminating virtually all Albanian- language schooling. They arrested and beat hundreds of Albanians on trumped-up charges and suppressed the Albanian community's attempt to organize a referendum on Kosova's future" ( Gashi 301). Even before 1991 in Kosova there were reports of killings, torture, cruel, inhuman, and degrading treatment and punishment of prisoners.

From 1991 on, arbitrary arrests, detentions and exiles of innocent Albanians that were contrary to internationally accepted human rights and the customs of Serbia itself, became regular occurances. Albanians were denied fair public trials, their homes and businesses were raided, and searched. Young men were imprisoned and charged for not registering for the military even though they had never received call-up notices. "Although federal and republic-level constitutions and laws, including Serbia's, include restrictions on arbitrary searches, these safeguards were often ignored, particularly in Kosova" (303).

My country, Kosova, was a small province in the former Yugoslavia. Since 1991 I have protested with my family, friends and teachers for civil and human rights for Albanians. I have been a part of many peaceful demonstrations, but also I have thrown rocks at the military. It was always hard when I was growing up. And there are not many fun things that I remember when I was a kid. The Serbs closed our schools and we had classes in the fields until many teachers made their homes into classrooms. Finally, the Serbs gave us one building in our town for our school. We had to go to school in shifts. The younger children attended classes in the early mornings. My brother and I had our classes late in the afternoons and evenings. I also went to classes on Saturdays and Sundays. It was hard to get to school. Often the police would stop us and search our back packs. I learned to hide my Albanian symbols from the Serb Police who would jail me if they found such things on my school books. So we kept our books at home and learned what the teachers told us in class.

I learned to stay in the shadows and to run and hide. I learned from when I was very little that it was not safe to go out of the Albanian neighborhoods without my parents, uncles and later when I was older, without several friends. I know what it is to grow up in fear and to live with prejudice and hatred. I know what it means to struggle to survive.

My dad had a college education and he worked as an economist in the textile industry. We were a middle class family until 1989 when he was forced to leave his job. The Serbs took away Albanian rights to hold positions in government controlled companies. Since then we have farmed with our uncles on a small piece of land outside our village. We raised most of our food. To get whatever else we needed we sold eggs, some of the wheat and corn we raised, and the calves from our cows. It was hard and I don't like farming. If I compare the fun things in my life to the bad, the latter would win three to one. But I did have some good times and I want to tell about a funny one.

School had just started and after school we decided we were going to go out with friends to play soccer in the fields. But before we left home we made sure we took matches with us. The first thing we did was to steal corn and potatoes from farmers fields closest to where we would play soccer. Often we would get into trouble, not because the farmers cared about the loss of their corn, but because we didn't ask to take the corn first.

We made a fire with wood and let it burn down to coals while we played soccer. After the game we covered the potatoes with the coals and on top we cooked the corn and ate it all. Then finding a watermelon field was the hardest because farmers guarded their fields with dogs. Corn is easy to steal because you can't be seen. To get a watermelon we had to slide on our stomachs not to be seen. Often, if we knew where the guard was watching, we would send someone to distract the guard or the dog while the others took the watermelon. We had watermelon at home that we didn't eat because the one in the field tasted sweeter! This is a good memory, but things began to get much worse in Kosova toward the end of the '90's.

The consequences of '89 and '90 in Europe are well known. The Berlin wall came down; Germany united. Communism died in almost all of Europe. Many nations gained independence. In Europe, the winds of democracy were blowing. But in Kosova my family and I (all Albanians in Kosova), lived in fear and terror for more than 10 years, since 1989. Our fear reached a climax in 1998-9 when the Serbs began their open war against Albanians. On one side was a criminal army that had killed more than 300,000 innocent Bosnians. They had all kinds of weapons to kill people. On the other side were Albanians who had nothing in their hands to protect themselves. The KLA tried to protect us but they were not able to protect two million people.

Those who suffered the most were civilians—hundreds of civilians were being killed everyday, many of them I saw myself. We listened to the radio every day learning that the killings were happening closer and closer to our town. Hundreds of thousands of other people were given the option to leave their homes or face death. We were given this option too. My family had decided not to leave our home. But when we were given this ultimatum, we left. I think that was a smart decision my dad made. If we had tried to stay, we wouldn't be alive today.

On the morning of April 14, 1999, around 6 A.M. we were sleeping when my dad woke us and said we were surrounded by more than 2,000 police and army soldiers. It was likely, he told me, that we were not going to get away without someone being killed. We were given an ultimatum to leave our home in less than 30 minutes. I took the hard drive from my computer, wrapped it with our family photos and papers in plastic and buried them in our yard. Our dog, our cows, our home were all left behind. As we passed through the neighboring village of Miresh, I saw my best friend, Mentor Rahimi, standing in his doorway crying. The Serbs had not reached his home yet.

After two days traveling through the high mountains of Kosova, seeing many horrible scenes (families being separated, young people taken from their families and later killed), we were stopped at the Kosova/Macedonia border. There the Serbs took our tractor and we walked into Macedonia carrying a few treasures, some clothing and our memories. We waited there on the road with many others because we didn't know what else to do. After 24 hours busses arrived and took us to a refugee tent camp in Macedonia. My family was one of the few families that didn't loose anyone, others had lost many.

The Macedonian tent camp was horrible; twelve people in each tent with only one blanket each to sleep on. The ground became muddy and keeping clean was impossible. We stood in long lines for three hours for food each day. Every meal was canned fish. Sometimes we got oranges. I will never eat canned fish again. More than 40,000 Albanian refugees came to the camp. It became very crowded. We were there for 30 days.

After weeks of waiting, people were sent to Germany, Australia, Switzerland, etc. I talked to many officials to try to get my family out of the Macedonia camp quickly and to keep us together, but we were separated. We watched and cried as my aunt, uncle and cousins were shipped to Finland. We had no choices. I wanted very much a quality education and a different way of life. So when I saw a chance, I put my family's name on a list of refugees to be shipped to Fort Dix, New Jersey.

I came to Ft. Dix, NJ right from the Macedonian tent camp. The refugee compound at Ft. Dix was restricted; we couldn't leave, but it was great compared to the tent camp. I learned to complain about "army" food and wore almost everything that was donated by Sears and J.C. Pennys. Because I learned some English in Kosova, I volunteered as a translator at the USIA Computer Information Initiative at Ft. Dix. Local New Jersey Macintosh computer club members, who spoke no Albanian, volunteered to help the refugees. I helped my people to search the computerized world-wide data bases for lost brothers, sisters, children and friends. I taught many of my countrymen to use the computers at the information center. I got the news channels through so my people listened every day in our language. The news about the war was very important to us. I volunteered at the Red Cross Center on the weekends. It was good for me to help others and meet many Americans.

My experience at Ft. Dix was most meaningful because I was able to help my people. I met Albanians from my home country that I never would have met if I had not come to the United States. The people at the USIA Information Center and at the American Red Cross are wonderful people; so generous, caring, and helpful. I have made lasting friendships. Journalists, photographers, social workers and statesmen visited Ft. Dix while I was there. They listened to my story and to those of my people. Everyone was helpful in so many ways. And, it was through the computer information center that I met my sponsors, VGail Vonderweidt and James Bird.

VGail volunteered at the USIA Information Center; we worked together there for the six weeks before my family and I were relocated to Erie, Pennsylvania. My family's caseworker in Erie completed paperwork and arranged conversations between my family and my sponsors. I have been living in Princeton since July of 1999.

I completed three years of high school English and six years of French in Gjilan. This allowed me to pass the Eglish as a Second Language course at Montgomery High School. But I was placed in mainstream academic classes there and I found the differences in the high school most unfamiliar--in teaching style and in class scheduling. There was no one at the high school who spoke my language. Many didn't understand the war I had experienced. Many didn't even know there was a war. Many didn't even know there was a Kosova.

The American classroom was very different from what I was used to. I was, at first, surprised that students were allowed to wear hats in class. This was not permitted in my school in Kosova. But by the end of the school year, I was laughing along with everyone when books were thrown out windows and kids made fun of teachers. I completed eleven years of secondary school in Gjilan, Kosova before I had to leave when Serbs were at my door. I received the top grades all throughout school. But I was put into 11th grade classes at Montgomery High School because I had no school records. They were buried in my yard with my computer hard drive. I studied very hard in all classes; English Literature, American History, Advanced Algebra/Trigonometry, Physics, and a Reading/Writing course. I most enjoyed the Math and Physics and earned the high school Physics Award for Excellence in May 2000. English Literature was for me the most difficult because still my English was not that good.

I thought I wouldn't like American History because I had learned much of my country's history and about Europe--it is a lot to remember and history is not my favorite subject. But I liked learning how Americans fought for their freedoms and independence. I learned of the courage of early Americans who fought for their freedom and risked to make just laws; to make independence their dream come true. I have learned from all this that I can make freedom for my homeland a reality too. I know that I can, someday, be of help in this dream.

Living in Princeton, New Jersey I have had to learn the educational and cultural differences that are very different from how I remember in Kosova. One thing I am learning is that in my society, under socialism and Serbian oppression, there was little choice. Here in America I have many choices. Sometimes it is hard to say what I want or what I feel. I find there are many Albanian words I don't have translations to in English. At the end of a day, I feel so very tired just from having to decide on things.

This summer I returned to my hometown in Kosova to see my family. While I was there I learned of the United Nations cooperative program with the Kosova school system that allowed students like myself to study for written tests, complete a final paper and make a presentation before a panel of teachers. This summer I earned my graduation diploma.

Because I returned to the United States near the end of August 2000, there was little time to register to a four-year college program as my sponsors had hoped. I did many entrance tests at Raritan Valley and began classes on September 7th. There is no Physics program at Raritan but the math and science department professors have helped me to select to courses that will transfer to a college or university with a physics program. I've been accepted at the University of Denver and I hope to earn enough money working this summer to transfer there by the fall of 2001.

Since I have started my education in America I have had many opportunities to tell of my experience growing up in Kosova under the oppression of the Serbian government. I have been encouraged how American students want to know about my small country and want to help if they can. Being in the International Club at RVCC I am learning a broader view of the world by meeting and learning about all the different kinds of Americans that make this land their home. I think that my being among American students helps them to learn a broader view of the world too.

What I like about being in America (besides knowing that I am safe all the time), is the fun I have with Americans and other international students; we like to joke around a lot. It is the good times that help me to put the sadness of leaving my country aside. I miss my family, my friends, the home where I grew up, my bedroom, my music, my new computer, the fruit trees in my yard, my mother's flower garden. I miss seeing my cousins, aunts and uncles every day, and the feeling of hearing my language all around me all the time. I am sad that my grandmother died at Ft. Dix and that she didn't get the chance to know the freedom I feel. I'm sad that she isn't buried in Kosova, the homeland that she loved.

Two weeks ago, I started reading "Night", I read the first 20 pages but I quit; I couldn't read more. As I told Professor Angela, things that Elie Wiesel wrote were too familiar to me. Yes, it is less than two years ago that I was in Kosova, and I was going through that same situation. Reading and writing about the atrocities justified by racism is difficult. It is probably difficult for everyone taking this course.

It is not possible that the Israeli actions toward the Palestinians is justified. I don't see why Israelis do what they are doing, instead of teaching others what they went through in Germany. They are teaching others to do the same things that Nazis did once to them. History is no justification for killing of innocent people. Is it okay for Albanians in Kosova to exterminate some other nationality because they were exterminated by Serbs? I say NO!

What is going on in Israel and Palestine and other parts of the world has to end. It is not fair if I throw stones at you, and you shoot bullets at me.

In the victory of the humanism against dictatorship, Kosova has it's own place. Kosova was the first to traumatize the Communist system. 1981 was a historic turning point not only for Kosova but also for the rest of the world. Kosova will someday be free like America. Getting a good education here in America is very important to me. I want to return to my country to help with the problems that are there now. I miss my country very much and I know how many problems need to be solved for Kosova to be free. I hope nobody in this world will see war again, but that doesn't seem to be the reality now.

Works Cited

 "Belgrade Sends Tanks to Rebellious Region." New York Times 4 April 1981: 4A.

Expulsions of Albanians and Colonization of Kosova. Prishtina: QIK (KIC- Kosova Information Center), 1997. 18 Nov. 2000 <http://kosova.com/expuls/chap3.htm#n5>.

The Denial of Human and National Rights of Albanians in Kosova, Edited by Alush A. Gashi, MD., Ph.D., 1992 .

Howe, Marvine. "Root of Yugoslav Riots: Vague 'Enemy' Blamed." New York Times 20 April 1981: 2A.

Latifi, Hysni. Personal interview. 29 Nov. 2000.

Latifi, Selami. Personal interview. 4 Nov. 2000.

Mertus, Julie. Kosova: How Myths and Truths Started a War. Berkeley: University of California Press, 1999.

Malcolm, Noel. Kosova: A Short History. New York: Harper Perennial, 1999.

Pipa, Arshi, and Sami Repishti. Studies on Kosova. New York: Columbia University Press, 1984.

Reuters. "35 Injured as Police in Yugoslavia Break Up a Protest by Students." New York Times 29 March 1981: 16A.

Reuters. "Three Ethnic Albanians are Jailed in Yugoslavia." New York Times 23 July 1981: 9A. 14