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By Matt DeBlass
When one thinks of a memorial service, one usually pictures a quiet room full of somberly dressed mourners and tastefully arranged flowers. The friends and co-workers of Debora “Deb” Harris, however, will carry away the image of sunlight shining through a luminous forest of pink balloons.
The 44 year-old Enrollment Services employee lost her two-year battle with breast cancer on Saturday, Oct. 7. Her memorial was held in the Atrium on Friday, Oct. 13.
Those who worked with her will remember her fighting spirit, ready advice and distinctive laugh.
When Nancy Mombay came to work at Raritan Valley Community College, she had no friends or family in the U.S. Mombay recalls how Harris took her under her wing and how they quickly developed a close friendship.
“My mom is still in the Philippines. She kind of became my second mom,” said Mombay. She described how Harris was always ready with advice on everything from herbal medicines to relationships. “Hey, Nancy: SMILE!” Harris would often say when she thought her friend was getting too stressed.
Harris was always ready to laugh, but one of her most noticeable traits was her strength of character. Mombay said Harris would give her this advice: “Always fight for what is right, because in the end you only answer to yourself.”
Assistant Registrar Pat Richmond also remembers Harris as her guardian angel during her first weeks at RVCC. “She was the person who made the whole thing real for me,” said Richmond. “I knew if I asked her a question I was going to get the right answer.” Harris was always ready to answer all the little questions that are so important to new staff members, such as where to find the lunchroom or where the office supplies are hidden.
Donna Marie Marhevka remembers her apprehension when the college first combined the advising, registration and financial aid offices into the Enrollment Services department. The reserved Marhevka was asked to share an office with the more outgoing Harris and co-workers joked that it was “like putting a puppy in with a pit bull.”
However, the two opposites developed a strong friendship, finding that their contrasting personalities worked well together. “I admired her strength; she admired my calm,” said Marhevka. She went on to describe how Harris’ straightforward character encouraged her to deal better with challenges both professional and personal, while her ability to create a calming environment aided Harris in relaxing and coping with stress.
Marhevka said that Harris needed her strength and courage during her fight with cancer. Friends remember how tough she was and how strong-willed she could be. “I will be fine,” she told Mombay “be strong for me.”
Eva Fontanez said, “We are just thankful to have had a colleague and friend like Debbie to teach us how to appreciate life to its fullest and keep ourselves strong.” She added that “Her daughter Stephanie has those same values.”
Harris had worked in the enrollment office for more than six years, and she made many friends in her time at RVCC. Her memorial service was attended by over 75 members of the Raritan Valley Community, and featured songs performed by Tammara Housel and Rose Arroyo as well as remarks by friends and co-workers.
The Atrium was filled with nearly 300 pink helium balloons. The balloons were sold as part of a fundraiser that had been organized earlier to help Harris and her two children with some of the financial burdens associated with her illness. After Harris’ death, it was decided that some of the money raised would go toward a memorial bench and tree, some would go to a Relay for Life team and the remainder would be donated to Harris’ son and daughter.
After the memorial service, attendees were asked to each take a balloon back to their office, their classroom, to any place that needed a little brightening. They also carried a memory, and possibly a little bit of Deb Harris’ spirit, with them.
“I didn’t just lose a friend; I lost a part of my family,” said Mombay.
“People may forget what you said, people may forget what you did, but people will never forget the way you made them feel,” said Pat Richmond, “She’s not going to be easy to forget.”
Lance Hemlow, RVCC mathematics professor and close personal friend, was with Harris during the last few days of her life. He said she asked him to relay one piece of advice:
“Be happy and smile often.”
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